I was born on an island, not an exotic, far away or dreamed about island. I was born on Galveston Island in Texas. It is an island that not many people think of outside of Texas. It has weathered some of the worst storms in history and is a tad cheesy but still comes back to be there for the long haul. I can’t think of a better place to be born. I have always felt a bit like I am on the edge of destruction and not quite one of the cool people but still there hanging on.
Sometimes my life has felt like a Lifetime movie or an old movie of the week. Of course being a child of the 70’s I ask if this ever becomes the case that Kate Smith or Jacquelyn Smith of “Charlie’s Angels” fame play me. Of course besides the fact that I look just like them, I feel they never got the credit they deserve for catching as many mastermind criminals with nothing but their wits and high heels. But I digress.
As those of us that are 70’s children may remember all the movies of the week were very dramatic and so my story must also begin with dramatic foreshadowing.
My mother claimed I was an ulcer for the first 6 months of her pregnancy. In all fairness it is just our way. We are ostriches who if we hide our head far enough everything will be ok. Of course every ostrich has to come up for air and I am not sure what she would have done in 3 months when she gave birth to a 5lb ulcer. I think I probably would have ended up one of the babies born in a bathroom during some gathering. I can’t really blame her for hoping I was an ulcer that would disappear with a different diet and a few medications. She was the oldest and much less favored daughter of small town up and comers, she was working with nuns and my father was a man her parents hated. Not an ideal setting for an ostrich to come up for air. Lucky for me my mother was bitten on the neck by a black widow while sitting in the cafeteria at during her lunch break-queue movie of the week cliffhanger. Just as improbably as one of the moments in these movies, my mom worked at a hospital and was whisked away to the ER.
A pregnancy test was given before anything was done (I think the other employees were a little suspicious of “the ulcer”) and the secret was out. I know this sounds a little farfetched, but as I said I have been living a Lifetime movie. Is it looking more like a Jacquelyn Smith or Kate Jackson role so far? You can get back to me on that later. I wish that this had given me super powers or at least some special skill like running fast and climbing walls, but alas it was nothing but a foreshadow to my mom’s sureness that I was born evil. Well, that and that she saw “Rosemary’s Baby” when she was pregnant with me forever altering my soul. I’ll let you make your own judgment.